My Bad!

I must formally apologize to my dear friend, whose name need not be mentioned, for being so nonchalant with my word choice. In a recent post, I mentioned poor children who may perhaps enjoy a 27" TV more than I. I referred to the location of said individuals as an "African Country." That was indeed wrong and shallow of me. There are many other impoverished segments of this world who I’m certain would enjoy a 27” flat screen TV as much, if not more, than the aforementioned children. There are South Americans, Caribbean’s, Europeans, and “buggery” Americans for that matter, just to name a few.

This was a shameful mistake on my part. I sincerely regret that it ever happened, and will work hard to ensure that it never happens again. Good day.

I have never posted pics...so here goes!

Trying to be artsy. A peach that Sam's mom bought.
Look how big that damn peach is!
Self Explanatory.
Sitting Shoe.

What happens when I am bored?

THIS!

Daniel Beddingfield still does it for me!

My lord, the Chicken Parmesan at Ruby Tuesday's is delicious. I scarffed that mess down in record time. Plus I ate about a fourth of Sam's pasta with broccoli...lord it was so effing good. That was a fun night, Friday night. We ate, and by we I mean, Mark, Drew, KT, Justin Lewis, Sam, Ashley, and I, then we went to Ashley's house and did nothing for like an hour until the rain let up.

I like rain. Just rain. No thunder and lightening. I can do with out all the bells and whistles. Rain is calming and wonderful. There is a smell in the air after it rains. Sometimes that smell is the scent of old Mexican food coming from the dumpster behind El Potro's, but other times it is the smell of, well, rain I guess. It seems that I can breathe easier after a shower, of rain that is.

Why do people love Wal-Mart so freaking much? I love it too, but I wonder if people realize what Wal-Mart has done to our small town? Do they realize that it has put numerous small businesses to death? In the words of Allan Jackson...it has "Killed the little man!" Not that the little man ever sold anything that I wanted to buy, but still...how is the little man making a living these days? I think I saw him outside the Flash Food’s the other day asking for change. I was going to give him a few cents, but I remembered that I had just bought a snicker's ice-cream bar at Wal-Mart. It's a vicious cycle.

Blogging is fun, only because I know how to do things behind the scenes. I know just enough about html that I can go in and change small things. I don't want to become a computer geek, well, not unless I can achieve Bill Gate's status or something. But I do enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that I have after having created something new. Knowledge, however trivial it may be, is a good thing.

Boredom Sucks!

I need money. I can't wait until Friday when I get paid. I bought that stupid TV, that big-ass 27" TV. Flat screen, mind you. A TV that I didn't need. Why the hell are we such greedy people? So wasteful with our money. Some poor child in [Insert African Country Here] could have used that TV. I am taking it back tomorrow. I can watch porn on my old 19" just fine.

Oh, tonight was fun. Me and Sam went and ate at...I mean looked around at K-Mart. Not to offend anyone, but that place is like the Terri Schiavo of the retail world. Why don't they go ahead and pull that plug? What does it have to offer that the Almighty Wal-Mart doesn't? Come to think of it...Wal-Mart and K-mart should have a cage fight to see stays and who has to go. One could tell the other…“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us!” Sorry…I was thinking about an old western I once had to watch with my father, against my will. But yeah, I would attend!

After that, Sam and I rode around in my truck singing to the Backstreet boys, Daniel Beddingfield, and OMG...what...WICKED...by request!?! Sam actually took the initiative and put it in. She's caught the bug! It was fun. Since it rained today, SGC was flooded and we rode around campus looking at all the standing water. We briefly contemplated going and buying a pool float and jumping in, then I realized I was on the rag. Seriously...there was an old rag in my shorts...I had been sitting on it all day long. I guess I didn't see it in there when I took my shorts out the dryer.

**Note to self: Check all articles of clothing for bathing paraphernalia before leaving the house. **

We ate at El Potro’s and went to Wal-Mart. See what I mean? It's addictive! We purchased an ass-load of junk food: a chocolate cake, cookies, chips and dip, string cheese and ice-cream and went to KT's house and ate it while watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That is a great movie. Very witty. I recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it!

I think I am beginning to feel the affects of that string cheese...yeah...that's it...ok...Until next time my loyal readers...merry christmas to all and to all a good...gotta go!

Saying goodbye is hard to do...most of the time!

It's that time again; the time when I have to say goodbye to another close friend of mine. This time it is Samantha Burton, my dear friend who shares in my love of Tokyo Express. I love Sam, although I haven't always loved her. We are friends in spite of a rocky past. I think it is that past that has fortified our friendship and created the openness that the two of us share. I am going to miss her a lot!

I hate having to say goodbye to people that I am close to. It is not that they aren’t going to be a phone call or an email away, but it is hard to not have them be a short drive away. Talking to friends on the internet is not the same as meeting them for lunch or just hanging out and talking for hours about life and any and every mundane topic there is. The physical aspect of friendship is what I miss the most.

I love people. I am a people person in spite of my subconscious insecurities with myself. There is nothing more that I love than being around people, my friends, and talking, interacting, just being. The human connection is truly a special thing. I sometimes wonder if I am dependent on people. Not for monetary or emotional reasons, but I think I depend on, or have a need to be with people. I don’t like the idea of loneliness, although being alone if often a good and much needed thing.

I have many friends and I enjoy all of them for different reasons. But I can list on one hand the people who I have made real connections with. They are:

First, Ashley Bowen…lord I miss that girl. I never realized how much she meant to me until I thought I had lost her. She truly knows more about me than I think I know about myself. She was there for me when NO ONE else was there for me. She has seen me in my darkest hours and helped to pull me through. I regret the way I treated her. I was young and immature and didn’t realize just how important she was. I am so grateful to have been blessed with her friendship.

Then, Miguel Fuller, a very special person. He has a way of inspiring people to strive for greater good within themselves. His ambition and determination to succeed is contagious. There should be more people like him in this world. He allowed me the opportunity to be me at a time when I needed that more than anything. He was there to nurture my new found self discovery. We shared mutual interests, namely being gay, and we learned from each other and helped each other. He helped me grow immensely. I appreciate him a lot.

Next, Drew Davenport…it makes me sad to talk about him. We have had our ups and downs and are not as close as I would like, at all! I think the world of Drew. He was there during a difficult time in my life. He experienced the transitional period, a difficult period, a period of my life that produced some much regretted situations. The situation with Drew is a touchy one for me...I just wish he knew how I felt…and that I appreciate him for being there for me. I get all nervous talking about Drew.

I know this blog is public and that anyone can read it…but you know what; I use it for constructive purposes, so I will be honest. WOW! I am about to unload.

I met Drew in middle school and we became close in high school, about the end of my sophomore year. I was beginning to come to terms with my sexuality and starting to feel the real affects of what it meant to like boys. I liked Drew. Primarily because I got to know him and he was such nice person. He was like one of the sweetest people I had ever met. I could talk to him about things that I couldn’t even talk to Ashley about. He was always there to listen. I came out to Drew…the first person I came out to face to face. That was a big step.

It got hard for me to separate my feelings for him from our friendship. It made things weird…I started acting strange and things slowly fell apart. I regret that…but I didn’t know what to do with myself. I almost feel embarrassed to admit this, even to myself, but it hurt that he didn’t choose to open up to me as much as I did to him. In spite of all that…all the feelings and weirdness…I still think the world of him. I am happy for him and Mark. I wish them the best. And maybe one day we can all be close. Lord…that was tough.

And the newest member of this select group of people, Samantha Burton. We have been through some rocky terrain together. Things that she doesn’t like to discuss and I understand that. It was precisely those instances that helped to fortify the relationship that we currently share. Sam is a very open-minded and outspoken individual. She is someone that I can talk to about anything. She has a way of making you feel ok. Even though she may not agree with you on something…she is never one to ridicule you for it. I love talking to her. She has filled a void in my life at a time in my life that I needed her the most. She has furthered my growing process. I admire her tenacious personality…her non-apologetic approach to likes and dislikes. Samantha Burton…She’s a good thing.

Goodbye is never easy to say. And although I have never had to tell many people goodbye for good, it is still difficult. I appreciate all my friends and I hope they share the same sentiments for me. And even though it is so hard and I hate it as much as I do, I am grateful for goodbye. I think it is life’s subtle way of helping us to grow, of helping to strengthen us enough as individuals so that we can stand on our on. Although friendships may last forever, the physical aspects seldom do.

Well, I have sort of lost my train of thought…or maybe I am just burnt out from opening up so much. Lord, it’s late. The End!

I agree...what do you think?

Your Birthdate: June 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about. You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Just another slow day at work.

Well, my boss is out of town. Yeah, Pete is gone again. She is in the North Georgia Mountains this time with some ladies from her church. I didn't know Pete was involved in the social circle at her church. Whatever...I hope she has fun and doesn't get eaten by a Mountain Lion.

I was downloading random shit on napster and I found some songs by Phish...I really like them. They sound really crazy, but they're cool. You should download Sparkle. I just ate some Vanilla Cream yogurt and sliced apple...it was really tasty...YUM! You should try that as well.

I'm bored. Can you tell? I have nothing to do today. I only came in because I hate to put down that I worked when I didn't. Even though I already exaggerate on my hours. Shoot, I need money. This job don't pay and plus they gave me some shitty Pell Grant this year. $1000. WTF? Okay, so I can pay for tuition, but I need books! They expect me to take my little $5.15 an hour check and give it back to them in the form of $350 in books. Please. I will rob that damn bookstore. I know that lady in there...she is little...I can take her!

Yeah, so all these high schools are having football camp here at the college. And since the building that I work in use to be used as dorms, they are staying on the top floor. Yes, about 75 muscular, sweaty, strapping young laddies all in one place. My lord. I sometimes wonder if we gays are inherently predatorial. I feel ashamed that I sit here in this office and gaze at them as they come in. Or I will make trips back and forth across the hall as if I am working just to get a peak. This one boy asked me some mundane question yesterday...I don't remember what it was and I am sure the reply I gave didn't make sense since I was so busy gawking at his pecks and abs. What the hell are they feeding these boys? They are high school seniors so I don't feel too much like a creep. Shut up...you'd be doing the same thing.

I guess that's all for now. Oh my god...here they come, fresh from practice. The smell of puberty in the morning. *Sigh* Gotta go!

Funness!

Howdy Doo Peoples! How have you all been? And yes, I do realize that by formally greeting you all, that I am acknowledging the fact that I am indeed writing for an audience and not my own self satisfaction! But whatever, you’re still going to read it and love it and come back for seconds and thirds and stuff!

So, since the last time I spoke with you all not much has happened. Not much that is interesting enough to talk about anyway. Well, I did get to tag along with Pete and Dr. Yeoman’s Environmental Science Class on their trip to Grand Bay. Now, in case you have never heard of Grand Bay, I will give you a brief description. Grand Bay is the poor man’s Okefenokee Swamp! What is Okefenokee Swamp, you ask? It’s this nature place in Waycross, Ga. They have alligators and snakes and boats and gnats and weeds and heat. You pay to go into the place and you can take a boat ride through the pristine Georgia swamps with your tour guide, Hillbilly Joe.

Grand Bay on the other hand is located in Fargo…yeah, I had never heard of it before either…and it is nothing but this long, winding, boardwalk into the woods. There is the swamp below and Spanish moss, or as I like to call it, red bug housing projects, above. You walk along this boardwalk until you come to this tower that is like 30 stories and from the top you can see more swamp and shit. It was cool. I got to take pictures with Pete’s expensive camera…they are neat. If I knew how to put them on here I would…but I don’t.

That was Thursday and on Friday I ventured to Valdosta with Kyle, Laura, Samantha, Shanda, KT, Antonio (one of Laura’s friends), and we picked Stephen (Shanda’s boyfriend) up once we got there. I had originally planned a small trip consisting of 3 or 4 people. I wanted to go to the movies to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I wanted to eat somewhere nice, I wanted to go the book store and just chill and enjoy the night. Yeah, so that didn’t happen.

As it got closer to the time to leave, more people were added to the trip and the departure time was changed to early afternoon. So, we all pulled out from Douglas around 3:30 to be at the 4:30 showing of Charlie. It takes a little over an hour to get to the place and we went the long way. It wasn’t looking good. We got there at like 4:45 and decided that it would be best to go to the 5:30 showing of the movie, that way we could run a few errands and get something to eat. We purchased our tickets and went to the mall where I got some pretzel bites with marinara sauce. My lord, those things are D-freaking-licious!

While at the mall, Kyle saw this guy in the shoe store and began to visually rape him. I was thinking “My lord, stop staring before you turn him to stone!” It was sort of creepy. We left the mall and went to the movies. It was really good. You can never compare a remake to the original, it’s just not fair. The original was great, don’t get me wrong, but this one is equally as good. The new Wonka is much more talkative and open, whereas the Gene Wilder’s Wonka was more closed and seemed a little dark, as if he could snap at any moment. I loved Gene. Johnny Depp played the character as a man still battling with his childhood, a man who hated the idea of family, and a man who loved to snap at kids. He was great, as usual.

After the movie, KT, Sam, and Antonio headed home and the rest of us piled into Laura’s car, a very tight fit I might add, and went and ate at Red Lobster. We had to wait, of course, but we found fun ways to pass the time. Mainly, making fun of Kyle, but also, Shanda and Stephen entertained us with Hopscotch. The old people who were leaving didn’t know what to make of it all. I laughed quietly to myself and feel asleep on the bench…never mind, that’s another story. But the food was great. Those cheese biscuits are so freaking good…I love food! Kyle got weird during dinner and once he got his food that costs $16.99, he looked at his plate and was like “Let me show you how the pros do it!” So he called over the manager lady and told her that nothing was good, which probably seemed like a lie to her since me and Stephen nearly cleaned off his plate before she got there. But, that lying bastard didn’t have to pay for it, but he bought me a chocolate shake from Steak and Shake later that night. Refund that you bitch!

We left the lobster and headed to the book store, Books-A-Million. Yeah, so let me just paint you the scene inside this place. It was the release of the latest Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and His Homosexual Encounter or something like that. Well, I didn’t realize this and when I opened the door to this place all I saw were pointy, black hats, cloaks, and twig wands. I was a little scared. This place was overflowing with handmade costumes worn by overly excited children. They had the store divided into the different classes of Hogwart’s students, Bumble Bee, Dragon Fly, and Ant Eater. They were all represented.

Since I left my cloak at home by mistake, I tried to make my way to the magazine section without being noticed. I picked up the newest issues of Out, The Advocate, and Instinct along with the Ellen Degeneres Autobiography, The Funny Thing Is…. It cost me like $30. Lord…I needed some new bathroom reading material. I don’t think anyone else bought anything. We left and came home. We had some really interesting conversations on the way home and Stephen leaned up to the front seat and told me that I was the best storyteller ever. Yay! That made me feel good because he is cute.

Saturday was slow and I didn’t do anything until that evening. Sam and I went and got some Tokyo Express to go and took it to Ashley’s house. It was her birthday party. KT made cupcakes…they were good too. I ate two before I was supposed too and I think KT got mad. Sorry…but I’m fat and they smelled tasty. We all sat around and talked until I suggested that we go to Wal-Mart. I bought the Kinsey DVD, a pair of shorts, and some shampoo. Kinsey, the movie about the life of well-known sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, was really good. I want to read his biography and also the book he published about the sexual habits of men.

I slept Sunday.

Now here I am at work. I was waiting on Kyle’s lying ass to come and have lunch with me. He called me this morning and told me that he was going to come and watch Betty Butterfield movies with me. What? You don’t know who Betty Butterfield is? That’s crazy…I’ll give you the link. I think it is some of the funniest shit ever. Maybe you will enjoy it as much I have. I am going to try and add the link now. Let’s hope this works. Until Next Time Kiddies…Have a great life and remember to eat your fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water. Bye.

BETTY BUTTERFIELD
MORE BETTY

Coincidence or Fate?

So...I found out the name of the guy whose blog inspired me to post the other day...see the link below labeled REFLECTIONS...anyway...his name is JAKE...WTF? sorry...I'm not cusssing anymore...so WTFruit? Yeah...I thought that was post worthy...that in this big ol' world...I find this post that I can relate to in some way, relate to it so much in fact that it inspires a post of my own and the author shares my name! Kinda strange. Well...adios!

Intervention...

So I was just thinking...i really need to stop cussing so much. When I think about the purpose that it serves...i just don't get it. There is really no need to do it. I think that what people say is true...the only reason to cuss is because you can't think of anything more intelligent to say. Yeah...well I am hella intelligent, so that can't be it. I have always hated it when people just cuss perfusely...i think they are retarded. I don't like it when my mother cusses. Therefore, I need to stop doing it myself before i become a retarded walking contradiction. Yeah! There. Done. It's all over. No more cussing for me!

I take that back...I will cuss...words like shit, ass, damn, hell, piss, bitch, cock, etc. They are all acceptable. It is the words like...F**K, God D**m, mother F****r! things like that...those are the main ones that I would like to stop using. So...if I am ever around you and I use one of those words...feel free to punch me in the face...but...be aware that I may forget that I posted this and hit you back because I don't know why you hit me in the first place. So yeah. Thanks.